“You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world... but you do have some say in who hurts you.”
Above is a quote is taken from a book written by one of my favorite authors, John Green. These words have been etched in mind ever since the day I read the quotation. It struck me that for so long, I had only agreed with the first half of the quotation, that getting hurt was inevitable and that there was point in escaping it. I felt that since pain was something constant, there was no choice but to accept that it exists and to avoid it conscientiously.
Ever since I was a child, I was exposed to so much pressure, not only from my family but from my teachers and friends as well. Being a consistent honor student since 1st grade, there was very high expectation of me. Right from the start, I was raised to be a good leader and a model student. I was always given roles of responsibility and since I was both artistically and musically inclined, I was made to participate in various competitions too. Graduating grade school as the class valedictorian, I was content and my confidence was at an all time high. Little did I know that high school would not be as sweet. In my second year, I decided to transfer to Miriam College High School for a change of atmosphere. Everything went well in the first week; I was able to make new friends and I had no trouble of coping with the new lessons. In the second week, things took as turn for the worse as I started to get bullied by, ironically, my previous classmates who had transferred to the same school. The bullying took a toll on me as I started to develop depression and would not attend class for fear of being ridiculed or slighted. I would end up getting sent home from panic attacks or hyperventilation. After three weeks, I transferred back to my old school, thinking I would finally be left at peace. Yet, those bullies did not leave me alone. They would come to my school, attempting to start fights or to poke fun at me. At the time, I no longer felt safe anywhere. This event lasted for more than four months and during that time, admittedly, I was in a very dark place.
One day, decided that running away was doing no good. I finally decided to stand up for myself. It was definitely not easy, but after a while, I was finally left alone. That painful experience made me realize that our problems are only as big as we make them out to be. Getting hurt and all these struggles are indeed irrevocable. It happens to all of us. Yet, we do have a choice whether we will succumb to it our not. I believe that the hurdles in life have a purpose. They are lessons, something we must learn from in order to grow as people. Mistakes are to be made and risks are to be taken. Running from our problems will only get us so far, but at some point, we'll have to face them and decide whether you will allow them to hurt you. Happiness is a choice, something we all deserve if we would only let it into our lives.
Today, I am still in the middle of knowing who I am and finding out what more life has to offer. I am in the process of learning and experiencing new things. Though I have come across a few bumps in the road, I stand with a more positive outlook in life and a strong will. I believe that we are all born for a purpose, to go and make a change, first within ourselves and then the world. I am eagerly awaiting more future endeavors and to achieve the goals I have set. I look forward to the last time I would be walking up that stage (hopefully as the class salutatorian), with a diploma in hand and being able to say to myself that I made it and that I accomplished something big.
Whatever the future holds, I know that God has a plan for me. In the middle of adversities, I will keep my head held high knowing that there is nothing we cannot overcome. Every hardship we encounter but a mere chapter in our lives, and it too shall pass. A wise man once said, "We need not be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken". I would like to believe that that saying is something I will continue to live by.
