Sweet Disposition

#NowPlaying: Sad by Maroon 5

Dear Friend,

  It was
two o'clock in the morning when I started writing this. Everyone's asleep while I just finished watching season one of Awkward.and I was more than content with my 'series marathon'  ( I could hear myself constantly saying "Damn I wish I had my own  Matty McKibben or Jake Rosati up in here" Awkward girls aren't normally as lucky as Jenna).I originally planned for a movie marathon but watching Silence of The Lambs and the rest of American Horror Story all alone in midnight doesn't seem to appealing. So, here I am trying to fall asleep but I can't 'cause my nocturnal cycle is fucked up and I may or not be having drastic mood swings.

  You want to know something funny (yeah, I don't find it funny. Okay, maybe just a little bit)? As it turns out, Stephan just missed his flight and had to re-book to this Tuesday, the 28th, because he got into some trouble. Hahahaha *insert sarcasm*. Ultimately, it means that he's still here in the country and, for some reason, there's something about him that won't let him leave. I wish I could say it was the words unsaid or things undone, but that would be wishful thinking . He was supposed to leave in the 11th, but he didn't. He was dropped in the airport last Thursday, he missed his flight. I mean, seriously, it's like there's like this cosmic conspiracy telling him that something has to happen. Maybe it's just me (most likely it is) but... I really want something to happen. I want closure and his current situation isn't helping. I needed to know that everything would be alright.

  On the brighter side of life, I may or may not be crushing on a guy from my review class. I call him The Grinch because he kind of smiles weird, but that's just my way of saying "Hey, he's kind of cute". He's one of those bastard who I kept on complaining about but after the two weeks I've spent tolerating their noise and inevitably listening to their conversations, I've come to love them. It was his birthday last Friday and his friends kept on bringing up his birthday. He felt kind of shy about it, I could tell. And some part of me feels af if they were trying to point out something. I don't know. I mean, the pretty girl in our class greeted him. I thought he'd be thrilled by that, but I can't help but wonder if maybe, he wanted someone else to greet him (?). Excuse me, dear friend, I tend to be over-analytic sometimes. I do that a lot.

  I don't know. But from those several moments I caught him smiling at my direction (the table where I was sitting), or the way he'd walk even the slightest bit slower when he passes by me, or him and his friend's flower drawing which they posted on the white board which was kind of odd seeing as I kept on drawing flowers all over my textbook as well, it was enough evidence to at least try and make something of it. And enough for a tiny crush to develop. Teehee. I'm trying not get way in over my head (because that happens a lot). But I'm totally not getting my hopes up because (a) we dont talk, (b) we just communicate through smiles, (c) he seems one of those upscale cool kids and, most importantly (d) I'm just as attractive as a hippopotamus and if you've seen one, you'd know they're not really pretty. At. All.

  Alright, well, I need some sleep and I need to study this weekend because I have mock-test for University entrance exams and a math diagnostic next week (which I miserably failed the last time). Damn, I wish we just had SATs like other fortunate countries...

  Try watching Awkward too. And maybe searching for a photo of a hippopotamus as a reminder of me.

  Don't forget to be awesome. (Hey ho, John Green's motto).

  Bye. And Happy Birthday 17th Birthday, Weirdo.

Love Always,
Yasmeen