Positive Vibes for Rainy Days

#NowPlaying: I'll Be Waiting by Dino Robles


Dear Friend,

  Since the first day of school, I've had days filled with rainy days, quite plenty. But not figuratively! I may be surrounded with thunderstorms and cold mornings, but I've had nothing but positive vibes. These moments come rarely considering I'm not exactly a perky person in general. But something about my atmosphere seems lighter. I don't really know what it is, but I'm appreciating the change of mood. Because, if I'm being terribly honest, I admit I'm probably one of the most crankiest and annoying people you'll ever meet... and things just go from bad to worse during the 'monthlies'.


   But, for some magical reason, I'm feeling great. Sure I've had 'stress breaks' every once and a while, but I'm generally alright. I don't know how long this is going to last, but I'll take it gladly.But if this is a permanent thing, I'd be ecstatic.

  Maybe, somehow, I'll let go of that part of my self that is so used to being so sad and depressed all the time. Or maybe that part of me is suppressed for the mean time and is just waiting to burst back once again.Honestly, I don't know. And, well, I actually hate myself for that-- not knowing. I despise the fact that I can never figure out who I really am and how I really feel. I have to minds, conflicted in one head. And it's not that easy when those voices constantly argue.

  But, anyway.

  Maybe the change of atmosphere has helped. Not a lot of people know, or maybe they've noticed, but I like spending time with my seatmate, Patrick. Before you rush into judgement, I actually don't like him the way everyone expects me too. Yeah, he's pretty good-looking. But, and I actually didn't expect this, I can't imagine liking him as more than a buddy. I swear. I like being around his company and having someone who's actually really nice to me. It also dumbfounds me how nice he is, but I think it's really cool. But yeah, I guess he's one of the reason for my positive mood.

  Second, I've stopped worrying about everything so much. I assume it is equivalent to no really giving a fuck so much. I just accept whatever happens and just go with the flow. I hope I can keep it up. Third, my music choice feels so mellow right now, I feel like a hippie. Plus, plus, for chill vibes.

  Lastly, I'm not sure if I find this a positive or whatever, but I might be developing a microscopic admiration crush on someone I probably shouldn't. This time around though, I won't do anything about it. Maybe distance would work in my favor...

  I hope it rains again tomorrow...



Love Always,
Yasmeen