Thoughts On: Friendships and Love

#NowPlaying: Awkward by San Cisco

Dear Friend,

  Lately, I've been seeing friendships fall to pieces. Some grow distant and others are taken for granted. It's hard keeping friendships alive. But if there is one thing I've learned, it's that friends are the most valuable people you'll ever have. They're the people who'll catch you when you fall, make you smile when you're down and be by your side through anything. I'm happy to have friends like that. But still, I'm struggling to find someone who fits the title of 'best friend'. It's like a sacred title, y'know. To me, best friends are the ones who'll never ever leave or replace you; who'll never judge you and will always accept you. It seems like a high standard but it's really not.

   With what is going on right now, the word 'friend' seems so under-rated.How can you call someone a friend if they only come to you when they need something or for instance, a bad break up? Or when you're the only one making an effort to spend time with them? Or how it's as if you don't exist anymore once a friend gets in to a relationship? Sigh. Let's face it, we've all gone through these instances and many more that make you question: "Are we really friends?". Sometimes, it gets tiring, trying to convince yourself that the friendship is still alive. Sometimes, you just have to accept that things change and people do too. Friendships grow apart, and we can't always be the ones running after people. I gave up on trying to chase these people as well. It's not because I don't want these people on my life. It's just that it's a situation where it was like I was hanging by a thread, not being able to hold on any longer. So, dear friend, to make things easy, my very own definition of the word-- "Friends": You're gonna miss them when they're gone.

  Anyway, I'm not writing this because I'm sad. Not at all. It's just that recently I've learned to filter out people in to two categories: the ones worth it and the ones who aren't. It's easier that way. In a way, I'm actually happy that I can see myself progressing and growing...

  Also, friend, I've had thoughts about love. Not my kind, though, other people's kind. My kind is a bit different. Being a a hopeless romantic and all, I can't help but have my own perception of other people's kind of love.First of all, what exactly is 'love'? I don't know if you'd agree with me, but 'love' is quite over-used, sometimes to the point where it loses its meaning. It's a shame because love is something beautiful and special. But now it is as if it's just another word. By dictionary definition, love means: a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection. While that is true, I believe that people often mistake love for pure obsessive infatuation. More often than not, this happens it high school-- the place where people claim to be 'in love' but really, they're just infatuated with the amount of gratification, attention and feeling of self-importance they receive. It's selfish.
And I quote this from an article I found:

"Infatuation is all about the moment, about attraction and desire. It's about wanting immediate gratification and sometimes pain. Love is about the future and security. Love is about happiness. 

"When you are obsessed with someone, you are equal parts desire and fear. You want them, but fear you might lose them. Or fear they might disappoint. You fear a lot of things. With love, you have no fear of anything, because you're secure in the arms of the one you love."

(you can check out the rest of the article here. It's all about the difference between love and infatuation)

 Anyway, it kind of makes me sick to see how people can spew out the word 'love' so easily.Sometimes I feel like shooting these people with water balloons and cursing at their faces. But that would be social unacceptable. Besides, high school is loaded with narcissistic people...

  Even if I'm here writing about a high schooler's perception of 'love', that doesn't mean I've never seen 'true love' happen in high school. Well, true love in the sense that it is actual love rather than its twin, infatuation. I have seen people actually in love and it makes me smile. It's rare to see people like that in high school these days. Though I only know a handful of couples actually in love (most, if not all, are about a year older than me), I still find it inspiring. Sigh.

  As for me, I've experience both love and infatuation. Or at least, I'd like to think I have. Infatuation more often than love. But nonetheless, I'm pleased. Love is indeed a wonderful feeling. I wouldn't want to biased, but I think this time around, I'm growing in love. The same kind of self-less, butterfly-filled, magical, heart-racing, happy kind of love. Because love is happy. And, in all honesty, I've never been as happy as I am now. Only time will tell how long this happiness lasts...

  But until then, I'll just stay this way-- in absolute bliss.

Love Always,
Yasmeen