Dear Friend,
Gosh darn, the days feel just a tad bit longer. I. Am. So. Bored. Dang it! So anyway, enough about ranting about the infinite wonders of boredom (no, actually, being bored doesn't have any wonders. At all.). I'm here to share more thought on the upcoming senior year. I know, I know. I've been yapping all about this for quite a while now. But this is a really big deal for me (and I'm partly saying this cause it's all I think about because... I'm a bored, anti-social unicorn). Anyway, it's my last year. And going to college scared the shit out of me. It's a whole different place with people I don't even know. One of my biggest fears is being alone. I'm scared of being that outsider once again. To be quite honest, I find it really hard to make friends. Aside from being unbelievably awkward and shy, I have major trust issues which kind of works both ways. I trust to much, yet sometimes I don't trust enough. Sigh. Bottom line: As much as I am open to change, it's also what I fear the most.
First of all, I'm looking forward to new experiences. I know, every day has new experiences, but the whole senior year things shoots a thought in my mind that maybe I should do some things that are a little out of my comfort zone. After all, it's my last year in high school. And, to be honest, most people won't even remember the things you did in ten years. So why not have a little fun? Be a little mischievous, I say. Maybe I'll go cut class (as if I can muster up the will to do so), or get drunk (I have done that once in school. Damn that headache), or maybe I'll just do random shit. I don't know. But doing something spectacular is something on my Bucket List.
Meeting new people. I always love meeting new people! And, most of the time (within my comfort zone), I'm the one who usually approaches them. I plan to do the same this year too. I love making new friends and I think this is the year I should start separating 'the people who matter' from those who don't. Developing long and lasting friendships is one of my top goals in life. With all these new kids coming in this year, who knows. Maybe I'll find a good friend or two...Last everythings. There comes a time when high school nears its end. In this case, that time has come. There will be some many 'lasts' this year. I can't even begin to fathom how many tears will be shed, how many more fights, smiles, and infinite moments are yet to come. But no matter how many more will come, there will me that one final moment that will mark the end of your high school days. As for me, I'm looking forward to my last prom, my last edition of the school newspaper (editor-in-chief duties will go down in my list of 'big, high school achievements'), my last retreat, my last goddamned exam, and the last time I will walk up that stage and finally receive my last medal and my diploma and finally say 'I actually did it'. That last one will be so significant to me. I've always complained to myself about how I keep going up that stage year after year to receive honorary medals. (I'm not saying this because I feel somewhat superior when I do. It's just that maybe being that honor student that everyone expected of me kind of wore me out. Note: I did not enjoy living up to that expectation.) But now, looking back at it, this may be the last time I'd get recognized for something good that I did. And maybe I'd miss that. Either way, I'll cherish that.
Whatever happens this year, dear friend, I hope it turns out well. High school in only a mere four years of my life.They may not be a lot, but they're certainly amazing.
I hope you had a good four years too.
Love Always,
Yasmeen
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