Bleed

#NowPlaying: Shake It Out by Florence and the Machine

Dear Friend,

  I'm not so good today. Actually, I'm not good at all. I'm shaking like mad, hyperventilating and I could barely type straight from all the tears flowing from my eyes. I can barely breathe and I'm fighting the urge to bleed. I don't want to. I don't want to go there. Not again. I don't want to be in that same dark place as I was before. He kept me away from that dark place and I'm slowly sinking back in...

  I want to hold on as much as I can, but it seems like there isn't really a purpose anymore. I need something. Anything. A sign. Just to know that there is still something worth fighting for. That it isn't all going to waste. I just need something to keep me alive for sixteen more days.

  I don't know if I'll be able to finish this properly, but I'll be writing to you as much as I can hold. Because right now, I only have my stars to keep me company. But even the sky is dark and I can barely see them. I don't know if I'd be able to tell you everything yet, dear friend, but in 15 days I will be. For now, all I can say is that I am lost, and I don't have the strength to stand on my own. Literally and figuratively. I don't know what to do because as I'm sitting here alone by the balcony, I want to scream out. I want to stop feeling and just end it. No. I can't. I have to stop myself from going back to the old me. I can't be lost again.... No. Please.

Stay, こ。 ごめんなさい。

Love Always,
Yasmeen